A fertility journey can bring with it a rollercoaster of emotions. It can feel incredibly lonely and isolating. You can sometimes feel like the world and others around you are continuing to move forward and you are stuck and feeling left behind.  

You just want to have a baby. Maybe you had envisaged having lots of children and now you would be so happy if you could have just one.

Maybe you have one and you long for a sibling for that child, and feel others judge you and see you as ungrateful for 'all you already have'.

Things that people say in jest only seem to make you feel worse and maybe you have even reached the stage where you feel like you can't even spend time with others that are pregnant. Even family and very close friends. This only adds to the feeling of being left behind and alone. 

You can often feel like nobody can understand how you are feeling and if you were to even try to explain they would think you have gone made. Some of the thoughts we have can leave us questioning who we are as a person. But it is hard to see the wood from the trees when you are in the thick of it.

When there is something you want so badly but it is just not happening. It is of course for everyone else around you. But not for you, it can be incredibly hard to think about anything else.

It can take over everything. Your thoughts, dreams, relationships, friendships, sense of purpose and identity, confidence, ability to work, think straight and you forget what it feels like to laugh and have fun. Sex becomes a chore and a means to an end, an end that is not happening. Intimacy can feel like a distant memory, again adding to feeling lost and alone.

It is unfair, it is heartbreaking. You can feel angry, frustrated, sad, lost, overwhelmed, bitter and a multitude of other emotions.

No emotion is bad. They are all trying to tell you something. It is taking the time to process what they mean and how they can help you to move forward that makes the difference. Processing the emotions and taking action is when the healing and moving forward begins. 

Perhaps you are reading this and thinking that seems impossible. Believe me I get it, I've been down that rabbit hole. But it is possible.  YOU CAN FEEL IN CONTROL AGAIN. You can live in the wait. You can laugh, be with friends, feel confident, know you who are, what you want and trust yourself and the decisions you make. 

If you would like support with your emotional wellbeing wherever you are on your fertility journey. At the beginning, months in, years in, exploring what comes next or when it is time to stop,  If you are maybe in a situation where you are starting menopause and you were not expecting to. Support with reproductive Loss, Grief or Trauma. If you would like support as you explore what supporting emotional wellbeing or healing and moving forward in a way that feels right for you  looks like and you are curious as to how, please do get in touch. We can have a chat that creates space to see where you are at and how working with me can help. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook @fertilitywellbeingireland.

I look forward to connecting with you. Dara x